waiting...

I've always considered myself a patient person. I do have a tendency to get mad over silly things, but if I do it's because I've let things build up inside of me. Typically speaking...I'm well reserved, I try not to complain, and I do my best to get along well with everyone. Patience to me is a very important and should be a very desired attribute in a person. I admire and look up to people that put up with so much and do it with such class that I actually get kind of jealous of them. I could certainly name at least 5 people that I look up to in that way, but I think that is too personal for this post. Anywho...I am patient, but I'm starting to feel less and less patient everyday. I don't know what it is. I feel like I'm going crazy. Like something has snapped and now I'm paranoid and frustrated and, of course losing my patience. I hate waiting. Especially waiting with expectations. Why is it that I can't just focus on every day, one at a time, and be happy with everything that I have instead of wanting more from it? What do I do when I want something so bad but can do nothing but wait because there is nothing I can do to make anything happen faster? I just feel helpless when I have to wait. I want to be in charge and in control and I'm still trying to learn how to handle situations when I can't be in charge or in control. Ugh. I guess I'm just rambling now. To sum everything up...I'm patient, but not when it comes to waiting for things. Perhaps one day I will learn to not let the wait bug me. This actually brought a quote to my mind from the awesome cartoon "Avatar: The Last Airbender." It's by this hippie guy and his wife...they say, "You need to focus less on the where and more on the going." Tweaking that to fit this situation, I would say I need to focus more on what's here and now and less on what I expect and am waiting for.