a new leaf

Well now...it is time for a new leaf to be turned over in my life. I've moved away from home before and I was fine, but this time feels so much different. I'm not just moving into student housing now. We (we meaning Kelsey, Kathryn, and I) have our own apartment that's off campus and everything. We're officially grown up ha. There are so many thoughts that have been running through my head about all of this apartment business! I just don't know what to make of them all. I am both splendidly excited and terribly anxious.

Perhaps this is a bit much to say on a blog...but I feel like expressing my feelings. So here I go. I'm super excited about having a place all to my own. It's going to be so much fun! We all get along quite well. We all have the same standards and such so that will keep us happy and comfortable :) I think the reason that I am most excited is just that having an off-campus apartment is a huge step in the growing up process. Living away is definitely a big one, but there is a very different feeling about living in a basement apartment versus a huge dorm building. I'm not really one of those people that never wants to grow up. Of course I miss being a kid and really wouldn't mind staying young, for I know I would have a blast, but as a kid all I could think about was growing up. I wanted to have a job and be older all the time. I would dream about being married and having a family and career, etc etc. I've just sort of always wished my life would somehow accelerate so I could experience being an adult. Well this apartment business is just a step closer to all those things that I dreamed about as a kid. And yes it makes me nervous, but I'm so excited for it all! I love to do adult things and be all grown up. Everyone teases me because those who know me best know that I am, and always will be, a kid at heart, but I like to be mature about things and be..."learned in the ways of adulthood" haha.

I think the fear of this new place mostly comes from two main points. The first is simply I am terrified to be poor again. I hate that feeling of realizing that you have no money for food or other things. It's scary to me. I know that being poor is a normal and an expected part of life for college students, but I hate it. I don't know many people that do like it ha. It just adds to my stress and anxiety. On the up-side, I am learning to budget and manage myself so that I don't have to be in want or need. I don't spend frivolously or anything anymore :) Woot! Secondly, I'm slightly nervous because our basement isn't big. It's really quite small and there will be three girls living together. I've never really had much girl drama, but I just worry that we will get sick of each other. I am going to do my best to hold my tongue, be respectful, and work together. I know we will have a good time if we all learn to sacrifice our own personal wants and such for each other. I just hope we can all do that.


Having experienced both living at home and being away from home, I have found there are a lot of things to be grateful for in each of the circumstances. Being away from home has taught me so much and helped me grow in so many ways! I had no idea that merely moving away could do that for me. I've discovered new passions, new ideas, and frankly a new me. I was able to put things behind me and focus more on my future instead of blunders I've made in the past. It really is quite refreshing. I recommend moving away. Even if only for a short time. I've learned to love and appreciate my parents so much more. We communicate better and more now then in the 17 years I lived at home. I have discovered the importance of the Gospel and how much I need it to make it through anything in life. I have learned to manage my spending and make sacrifices. Perhaps I was merely selfish and didn't wish to learn these things while at home. For I am sure there are many people out there that don't have to "leave the nest" in order to discover who they are and want they want to do with their lives. While I think they are quite lucky and blessed to be that way, I wouldn't trade my experiences away from home for anything.

I just talked about the...blessings I guess from being away from home. Now I would like to focus more on the things I've learned to love and appreciate about being home. Oh my! I must first begin by praising my mother. Never had I realized how much she does for me and really the entire family! Not only is she in school and working, but she still finds time to tidy up the house and support us in our endeavors. She is a light and example to everyone. Especially me. Growing up I never realized what an important role she played in my life. I know, love, cherish her more now then ever. I love being at home where I don't have to worry about roommates who behave in a way I find repulsive. I don't stress about not having enough money to buy food to eat because we always have something in our fridge or food storage I can whip up. I feel loved and accepted for my differences instead of judged. And the best thing about being home is that I'm close to the people I love the most.

I feel safe and happy and comfortable at home. I hope that we can make our new apartment to feel like a home. Soon enough we will find out :) I will be posting pictures soon of our new little place!!!